Sam Carter's Diary
by Sarah74656
Summary: Sam gets a book for Christmas that inspires her to do some diarywriting... A fic very much in the Bridget Jones mould!
1. January to April

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of this wonderful stuff. Unfortunately. I wish I did, but the lucky devils at ShowTime, Gecko and MGM have the pleasure, so I guess I'll just have to be content with doing what I do now, writing for fun. I don't get any money for it either. Sigh. And I don't own Bridget or any of her antics either. You'd think I'd be better off really, wouldn't you?_

_Author Comment: Hello everyone! I know it's been a while since I wrote anything, but blame the nasty workload I've got at the moment! Anyway, I read 'Bridget Jones' Diary' and this sort of blossomed in my head… For those of you wondering, this bears no resemblance whatsoever to my angsty diary stories. This one is purely for humour purposes and as such you shouldn't take it to be at all serious. Oh, and before I set you off reading, one last thing: remember – feedback is good!_

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_**January 1st**_

**New Years Resolutions:**

_Work less  
__Sleep more  
__Get boyfriend (not slimy alien)  
__Stop fantasising about Jack_

Found book in pile of Christmas presents – called 'Bridget Jones' Diary'. V. good and funny so decided to catalogue own life in similar fashion. May be boring and uninteresting but no one will read it so not a problem.

Have managed to get New Year's resolutions list up to four items think can cope with. Bet will not last long but must try for sake of tradition.

Can't think of much to write. Will try again tomorrow. Muse might have recovered from hangover by then.

_**January 10th**_

_Hours worked: 18  
__Hours slept: 4 (v.good)  
__Boyfriends: 0 (not surprising)  
__Jack fantasies: 3082 (not good)_

Remembered about diary. Realised should have made fifth resolution. Fifth resolution is now to write in diary.

Work is boring and hell except when Jack is around. Keep sending sideways glances at Daniel. Think he knows about resolution. Shall promise to talk to Janet for him should he mention it to Jack.

Went off world. Met many slimy aliens. Started to think Martouf/Nareem not so bad, then realised need vacation. Wait – only just had Christmas. Damn.

Just finished playing with doohickeys and is now 4am. Must report for duty at 8am so will sleep now.

_**January 21st**_

_Hours worked: 10 (v. good for weekday, v. bad as is weekend)  
__Hours slept: 8 (is miracle)  
__Boyfriends: 0 (wonder why bother counting?)  
__Jack related fantasies: 4001 (at last rough estimate)_

Spoke to General Hammond about vacation. He said he'd think about it, then promptly gave out yet another special SG-1 type assignment. Think that 'no rest for the weary' was a v. witty comment by Jack. Have given up trying not to think remarks made by commanding officer are v. witty because always are, so is futile. Have decided also to ignore ridiculous suggestion of Daniel's that am obsessing over Jack. Have looked up definition of obsessive on the Internet and have found am not obsessed as only score 8 out 10 in on-line quiz. Have decided also to ignore supposed warning signs as quiz is obviously faulty in some way.

Followed advice of Janet about sleeping more and have bought relaxation tape to become a better and more efficient sleeper. Annoyed that paid $10 for tape of trees rustling when live by a forest, but will relent if sleep improves.

_**January 30th**_

_Hours worked: 17 (not so good)  
__Hours slept: 3 (v. bad)  
__Boyfriends: 0 (must stop counting)  
__Jack fantasies: too many to count._

Still no word on vacation. Am getting tired and fed up. Tree rustling tape was complete waste of money as discovered there is nothing more irritating than noisy trees when you can't shut the window to shut them up. Janet says sleep efficiency has decreased again. Wonder if it would increase if threw tape into trees outside?

Have realised only resolution so far kept is unwritten one to write in diary. This is v. bad but better than Bridget Jones. Am also impressed with self for not being self-conscious enough to weigh self everyday and write weight in diary. Know this is futile as nothing gives a better figure than fighting aliens. Will aim to prove Stargate travel gives smaller waistline.

_**February 10th**_

_Hours worked: 10 (v. good!)  
__Hours slept: 3  
__Hours spent trying to sleep: 4  
__Jack fantasies related to Valentines Day: 5843 (not good)_

Is Valentines Day in 4 days. Do not know what shall do. Jack cannot send flowers as is bound by airforce regulations. Actually there is no regulation against such an act, but will still not occur because just won't. Cannot let brain get excited over nothing.

Valentines Day in 4 days!

I wonder is Jack will send chocolates?

Should I send chocolates? Will ring Janet for girls' opinion.

"Hey Janet."  
"Sam – are you ringing about Valentines again?" She is psychic.  
"Erm… no…"  
"Just one red rose and a box of milk tray."  
"Oh. And–"  
"No name."  
"Right. So–"  
"Not even a forwarding address."  
"OK. Janet?"  
"Yes?"  
"Sending anything yourself?"  
"Me? Why? I mean why should I? I mean who should I? I mean–"  
"Send him chocolates, Jan."  
"Oh. Right. Of course."  
"See you tomorrow."  
"K, Sam. Chocolates. Tomorrow. Right. Bye then!"

Put phone down. Deny to self that have grin on face at mere thought of Jack and Valentines Day in same sentence. Give up trying to deny self and end up grinning stupidly. Will make tea now. Am having spaghetti bolognese.

Damn, have no tomatoes.

Have no onions either.

Have just discovered have no spaghetti either. Have promptly given up idea of pasta in any form and have phoned for pizza instead. With coffee. Mmm.

_**February 13th**_

_Hours worked: 5 (absolutely never heard of before)  
__Hours slept: 7 (v. good)  
__Hours spent daydreaming: 10 (at a conservative estimate)  
__Jack thoughts: not even going there._

12pm - Valentines Day tomorrow. Was so excited this morning that spilt coffee over last mission report and had to re-write. Jack offered to help and I then proceeded to knock freshly refilled cup onto floor. Not that bothered. It was a nasty cup anyway.

4pm - Just finished re-writing report. Would have been done faster if Jack hadn't kept coming in to see how I was getting on. Not a bad thing, but thought I should mention it. Just for the record. Will go home soon.

9pm - Just got home. Mmm, fancy coffee. Maybe Jack will ring.

9:10pm - Jack has still not rung.

9:12pm - Jack has still not rung.

9:17pm - Jack has still not rung.

9:22pm - Ooh, phone!

9:30pm - Was stupid electricity salesman. Have made vow to kill all such salesmen in future. Ooh, phone again.

9:35pm - Hehe. Conservatory man did not know what hit him. Think some may say am mean, but do not agree. If they want nice, they shouldn't ring after nine at night, should they?

10:45pm - Fed up of waiting. Am tired, so will go to bed now.

_**February 14th**_

_Hours slept: 2 (not good since went to bed at 11pm last night)  
__Hours worked: none yet  
__Jack thoughts: lots  
__Jack phone calls received: none_

Number of times picked up phone to call Jack then decided against it: 42

9am - Oh… it's been a whole hour at work already, and still nothing! Could easily hate that man, if he weren't so damn yummy. Which he is. Will stop thinking along those lines immediately.

10am - Still nothing. Wonder if was wrong to think anything would happen. Need chocolate. Need coffee. Need to stop thinking about it.

10:35am - Still done no work. Keep expecting him to appear around the door. Not good. Ooh, phone!

10:40am - Was just Daniel, asking if I had seen Jack recently. Think scared him with angry outburst about disturbing people when they are trying to work. Tactfully did not mention that have still not done any work today but instead have spent time waiting for phone to ring. Wonder what he is up to now?

1pm - Have given up waiting and have decided to get some lunch after much protest from stomach that it had not been fed since soup last night. Did not have time for breakfast as was too busy getting to work to see Jack. Ooh, talk of the devil! Here he is. Will not smarten self up. Will not let heart go faster. Will not let voice get stuck in throat.

"Hey, Carter."  
Muffled squeak that could almost sound like "sir" if heard in the right way.  
"You alright?"  
Nod.  
"You sure?"  
Nod.  
"Oh. Well. Anyway."  
Despite all will to the contrary could not, for some reason, get intelligible sentence out. Was supposed to say 'Did you want something, sir?' but instead said 'mmph!' or something like it.  
"Erm, just wanted to say, erm, Happy Valentines Day."  
He said what?  
"And, erm, here's a card. And, erm, a flower, erm, yeah."

Jack gave me a rose! He gave me a rose!

5pm - He gave me a rose! Still cannot get over fact. Know will only last a few days, but aim to see if can get Janet to freeze it or something, to preserve the gift. Will go and see her now.

5:30pm - Janet says there is nothing that can be done for a rose, and maybe I should take a picture or a video or something. Figures. Will hurry home now in case he rings.

8pm - He has not rung. Should I expect him to?

8:21pm - Ooh, need food.

8:25pm - Damn, have nothing in. Am reluctant to eat pizza from Dominoes again. Will phone Fred's instead.

8:27pm - Fred's is closed. Maybe will look in cupboard or freezer for ready meal.

8:33pm - Have found some form of microwave pasta meal. Will eat this.

8:42pm - Why isn't it cooked?

8:44pm - Damn, forgot to put microwave on. Have turned on microwave and tried again. Hate cooking.

9pm - Have decided he will not ring, so have decided to have bath instead of moping in front of TV.

9:12pm - Mmm… love sudsy bath.

9:15pm - Damn, telephone! Scrambled out of bath putting water everywhere and rescued phone extension. Swear will kill if it is another phone salesman.

"Hello?"  
"Hey, Carter."

Argh. Is him!

"Oh. Hello. Sir."  
Pause.  
"Did I catch you in the middle of something?"  
"I was just in the bath."  
Damn, shouldn't have said that!  
"Oh."  
Large pause, and a sound which sounds like he is swallowing something.  
"Look, I can, erm, ring back if you like."  
"No, it's alright. Really."  
"OK."  
Another pause.  
"I was just wondering… You want to catch a movie or something?"

Yikes!

"Er, yeah, sure!"

Have date with CO! Success! What to wear?

12pm - Have returned from date with CO. Must remember not to call it 'date'. Is informal meeting outside of work. Must remember. Am very, very happy.

_**February 26th**_

_Hours worked: 15 (bad)  
__Hours slept: 5 (not bad)  
__Jack thoughts: 3542 (or other such number)  
__1471 calls: 36_

Have made February resolution. Get answer phone. Have decided that having to ring 1471 every time one needs to know if someone has rung is inefficient use of time that can be better spent working. I mean sleeping. Have also made promise to Jack that will sleep more. Am not very optimistic that this will happen. Never mind.

Have abandoned temptation to wait in kitchen by phone for Jack to call every evening. Have moved phone extension to sitting room where there is a computer and more comfortable chairs.

_**March 1st**_

_Hours worked: 14 (hmm…)  
__Hours slept: 8 (practically a miracle!)  
__Jack thoughts: should give up recording these  
__Number of Internet quizzes filled in: 12_

7pm - Have found (through Janet) the joy of online quizzes. After debacle of 'obsession' questionnaire it is clear that they are not all to be trusted, but are none the less some amusement. After large search finally found a quiz which did not accuse me of being workaholic (silly notion) and will so on trust quizzes from same source. Wonder if Jack knows about internet quizzes? Wonder if Jack has Internet? Will phone just as excuse to talk to him. Not that need such elaborate excuse.

7:06pm - Damn. CO is not home. Wonder where he might be? Will call cell phone instead.

7:10pm - Cell phone turned off. Hmm. Curious.

7:15pm - Daniel has no idea where Jack is. Sure there is no need to panic though. Is probably in car and forgot to turn phone on. Will watch TV to take mind off silly dilemma.

8:30pm - Janet just rang. Said she saw Jack at O'Malleys with someone and did I know. When I told her I knew nothing about it she shut up and refused to tell anymore. Oh what is happening? Must calm down. Will not get obsessive over new girl. Might not even be girl. Could be airforce general. If so why would Janet ring? Bad thought. Need chocolate.

8:45pm - My life is not worth living. Jack was obviously with another girl. Doesn't love me. Never did. Never had date, and flower is dead in vase. Life is cruel.

10pm - Have finished chocolate. And ice cream. And half tub of cookies. Will go to bed now as feel a little sick. Ooh, wait, phone.

10:34pm - Was Janet again. She says she saw mystery person leave Daniel's house 5 minutes ago. She refused to comment when I asked her why she was spying on Daniel's house, but says that this means that girl slut is not Jack's girlfriend! Wayhay! Life is good again! Now must investigate mysterious woman to satisfy natural curiosity. Eugh, feel sick, will do it tomorrow.

_**March 14th**_

_Hours spent working on SGC business: 4  
__Hours spent trying to figure out who mystery woman is: 10  
__Hours slept: 5 (bad)  
__Spies or Russian intelligence agents discovered: 0_

Hurrah! Have finally discovered truth behind woman in restaurant and at Daniel's home. Turns out woman was merely looking for Daniel to deliver a letter and package sent to Jack's house under his name. Neighbour told woman Jack went out and to try O'Malleys as is his favourite restaurant. Janet caught them when she was there. He has no girlfriend! Hurrah that there is no other woman, terrible that he does not have me as his girlfriend. Have decided it is imperative actually do some SGC work as am paid to do before General Hammond discovers large internet and phone bill that have now run up and wants to know why.

_**March 23rd**_

_Hours worked: 10 (not bad)  
__Hours slept: 9 (amazing)  
__Number of times saved world today: 1  
__Number of Naquada reactors fixed: 0.5 (at best guess)_

11am - Have decided that saving world is not all cracked up to be. Saving world does not give you extra cable channels, free pizza or date with commanding officer, so is therefore not really all that good. Would resign and get desk job, but have decided would not improve date prospects either. Sigh. Is terrible. Jack has not spoken to me in at least 2 days. Have rung house but no one home. Have not seen any signs of him since yesterday morning. Would be worried, but no one else seems to be.

1pm - Daniel just came in and asked if had seen Jack. Said no, and he said he hadn't seen him since yesterday either. Hope he is ok.

1:30pm - Now am worried. Got call from General Hammond who has also not seen Jack since yesterday. Maybe will call around.

1:36pm - Teal'c has not seen him either.

1:43pm - Neither has Janet. Oh god. What to do? Will ring his house. Maybe he is ill.

1:50pm - Still no answer. Maybe had better check in person.

2:15pm - Oh god. Jack not home, last message on answer phone was last night. He has not been home. Where is he? Confused and worried. What to do?

2:17pm - Maybe he has been abducted? Better phone General Hammond.

2:19pm - Bad idea. Am supposed to be working, not looking for lost Colonel. Will sit down. Need to think.

2:45pm - Really worried now. Must get water, or will hyperventilate in Colonel's lounge and be found dead in morning by milkman or other such delivery man.

2:49pm - Is that a noise? Sounds like door. Will investigate.

3:10pm - Don't believe it. Was Jack! Apparently he went out with next door neighbour yesterday afternoon because off illness of dog or next door neighbour. Vet kept dog in overnight so they got back late, and Jack slept next door. He woke up late. Have been panicking over Jack oversleeping. Cannot believe own stupidity. Said as much to Jack. Don't think should have yelled quite that much. Was own fault after all.

3:45pm - Am sitting on bench on sidewalk not far from Jack's house. Cannot believe own stupidity. Oh god – here comes Jack.

"Carter?"  
"Mmm?"  
"Carter, are you ok?"  
"Sure. Why not? Why shouldn't I be? I'm peachy. Just peachy."

Cannot look at his face. Will not look at his face. Do not– oh damn.

"Sam…"

Oh… Not the puppy dog eyes! How to concentrate on being angry with the puppy dog eyes? He's not playing fair. At all.

"Mmm?"

That's right! Stun him with large and varied vocabulary!

"I'm sorry you were worried. Really I am."  
Mustn't say anything…  
"I didn't mean to worry you."  
Nothing…  
"I hate to think you were worried about me."  
Nothing…  
"I wouldn't want that. You mean too much to me."  
Oh heck…  
"It's all very well saying that now! You were just gone! Like, like, poof! And no one had seen you… You could have been anywhere… I was so scared…"

Think that went well.

"I'm so sorry… Can you forgive me?"  
Damn puppy dog eyes!  
"Mmm…"  
"Thanks, Sam. It means a lot to me."

Will not do nodding dog impression, will not do nodding dog impression, will not–  
"You want a lift back to the base?"  
–do nodding dog impre– What? Base? Oh hell! Had forgotten all about work!  
"Carter?"  
"Er, yeah. Thanks."

Well that went well. Hope Hammond did not notice absence.

4:20pm - Found note from Hammond on desk about briefing. Do not know when it appeared, am v. sure was not there this morning. Will not accept suggestion that was worrying about Jack too much then to be thinking about memos as is silly thought. Am already 15mins late. Hope that Jack can be even later. Am not vindictive, just feel that there should be some justice for the puppy dog eyes.

4:25pm - Damn. CO already at meeting. How the hell did he get here so fast? Apologise profusely and sit down. There is no justice.

4:27pm - Never knew briefing could be so boring. Must be alien plot to take over planet. Put all important people in briefing and talk until they fall asleep. Take over world. Is so simple, cannot believe has not been tried before now.

4:28pm - Since when has there been pens in the folders at briefings? Must be new addition to pack. Surely would have noticed if had been there previously.

4:36pm - What is Jack drawing?  
4:37pm - Will not wonder what Jack is drawing.  
4:38pm - But what is it?  
4:39pm - Will ask later. If am still awake then.

10:56pm - Hurrah! Have been released from briefing. At last. Need sleep. Must get home before pass out on floor. Has been long day.

**_March 30th_**

_Hours worked: 7 (amazing)  
__Hours slept: 2 (v, v. bad)  
__Times forgiven Jack in last hour: 48 (bad)  
__Number of plots for April Fools Day: 3431 (in the last 10 minutes)  
__Time spent plotting: 10 hours (at a conservative estimate)_

Have discovered from Daniel that is April Fools Day in 2 days time. As Fisher Price says – 'Oh, the possibilities!'

**_March 31st_**

_Hours worked: 2 (should be good and yet bad)  
__Hours slept: 5 (not good)  
__Times forgiven Jack in last hour: 14 (very conservative)  
__Number of finalised plots for tomorrow: 11 and a half  
__Time spent plotting: 14 hours 26 minutes (to date)_

Am looking forward to tomorrow with immense glee. Feel like want to skip home or cackle like evil Disney witch. Know in heart that it is not good to dwell on misfortune of others but will smile anyway, as is Jack and he is deserving.

Cannot wait until tomorrow!

_**April 1st (April Fools Day!)**_

_Hours worked: 0 (wonder why am on SGC payroll at all?)  
__Hours slept: 4 (too excited to sleep)  
__Pranks/plots successfully executed so far: 0 (but is early days yet!)  
__Pranks plots left to execute: 12 (unless more come to mind)  
__Measure of Jack's amusement at events on scale of 1-10: 9 (at the moment)_

8am - Have arrived at SGC in time to set up many plots to pay back CO for puppy dog eyes and other such offences. Am just heading to commissary to get necessary ingredients and plot devices.

9:45am - Damn! Ran into Daniel on way to commissary and have only just got away. Poor thing was upset over Janet and some rocks. Wish that could have been better counsellor/friend but was so insistent on him leaving that feel it took twice as long as should have. Have now got first plot factor so will head to Jack's office. Hope he is late in today.

10:07am - Damn again! As luck would have it, Jack was in early. Cannot execute plan a, b, c or d and had to come up with good excuse to be in CO's office. Not sure he bought scientific mumbo-jumbo that threw at him – am sure he is smarter than he lets me believe. Must now move to plan e.

10:50am - Will kill Janet Fraiser! After many promises to help carry out many April Fools Day activities was left for half hour trying to comfort best friend crying over Daniel and hypodermic needles. Feel greatly that pair are v. stupid and should talk to one another, as would greatly improve moods of each and relieve pressure off their other friends when they are trying to implement evil conspiracies against their commanding officers. Must now scrub plans e, f, g, h and i. Am only left with j, k and l. Should get moving as only have just over hour left.

11:15am - Stupid computer! Equipment thought of as most reliable and important piece of machinery that own has stopped working in hour of need. Make mental note to find most devastating virus off Internet and unleash onto system as punishment at first possible opportunity. Cannot now invoke plans j or k as require use of files only present on PC. Would take hours to re-write programs. Hours of work wasted. Still have plan l, and 45 minutes to carry out. Should get going.

11:37am - Cannot find Jack. Maybe he is hiding?

11:49am - Getting desperate now. Only have 10 minutes left!

11:56am - Is not in office, commissary, infirmary or anywhere have looked. Must be hiding in broom closet or other such secretive place.

11:58am - Do not believe own luck. Had so many plans and can carry out none of them!

11:59am - Gaagh! Jack has just walked in, and am slumped in his chair in his office. Not the easiest of situations to explain to CO.

"Hey Carter."  
"Erm, hi sir."  
Do not know what to do. Jack is being v. quiet and walking towards me.  
"Sir?"  
Oh my god. Is he going to do what I think he is going to do?

12:01pm - He kissed me! He kissed me! Cannot believe Jack kissed me!

"I guess the jokes on me, huh Carter?"

Cannot believe what has happened. This changes everything. All dreams, coming true at once. Think might faint.


	2. April to June

_**April 3rd**_

_Hours worked: 10 (not so bad)  
__Hours slept: 6 (would be good, but dreamt a lot, so still tired)  
__Times thought about Jack in last hour: 13953 (or thereabouts)  
__Times spoken to Jack since kiss incident: 0 (bad)_

10:30am - Oh, life is terrible. Cannot believe life is such drama, and that am such drama queen. Have not spoken to Jack in two days! Have not seen him since 'Kiss'.

Have told Janet of incident, but friend seems not to see what momentous occasion kiss was. Am all alone in world, have not seen Jack in two days.

Two days!

He could have gone to Australia in two days!

Am sure however that he has not, as have been informed by font-of-all-knowledge Daniel that Jack was on base today. Wonder if he is avoiding me?

10:41am - Have decided that someone must make first move in potentially awkward situation. Should be the most mature, most adult and most clear-headed individual. Have decided to wait for Jack to speak to me.

10:45am - Am not getting anywhere at all with this. Was bad idea to wait. Maybe shall go find Jack?  
10:46am - Am too scared! Will call Janet instead.

10:57am - Have decided that must plan something for Janet, as she is seemingly always unhappy about Daniel. Since Daniel is almost always unhappy over Janet, have decided that seems obvious something needs to be done. Ooh – have just realised what good excuse this is to talk to Jack.  
10:58am - Have just realised still don't know where Jack is.

12:21pm - Still no luck in finding Jack. Think he must have gone to Australia, as is most definitely not on base. Am going to go home, as am not working anyway so is no point being on base.

12:35pm - Is that someone in my house?

12:37pm - Argh! Is CO! Wonder if should hide in bushes until said CO leaves? No, bad thought. CO was obviously waiting for me, so running away or hiding will not help. Damn. Have decided to pluck up courage and enter house anyway.

12:40pm - Still here.

12:45pm - Still here.

12:50pm - OK, really shall go in now. Is stupid that am scared. Have faced down Goa'uld army but prospect of talking to CO is scary. Think that completely reasonable. Goa'uld were also scared of Jack. Perhaps am in good company?

12:55pm - Really am going in now. No, really.

1:02pm - OK, ringing bell – wait, is own house! Will fetch keys instead.

"Anyone home?" Stupid comment. Know that Jack is home. No, not home, here. Naughty Freudian slip.  
"Um, Sam?"  
"Sir?" Try to sound incredulous that CO could be in own house. Think that carried it off v. well.  
"Yeah, Carter. And don't pretend that you didn't know I was here. I saw you sitting in your car." Damn. Maybe is time to take Janet up on offer of acting classes?  
"What did you want, sir?" Yeah, avoid the issue. That usually works.  
"Well, I just thought that we haven't really spoke much since, umm, you know…" Will not grin stupidly at thought of kissing Jack, will looking slightly confused, will not grin- "Carter?"  
"Sir?"  
"Are you ok? You look a little ill." Hmm. Definitely time for acting classes.  
"No, I'm fine. You were saying?"  
"Well, I just… was wondering…" Wondering what? Can only dream what Jack was wondering.  
"What sir?"  
"Well, if you… were ok with writing the mission report to P3X-364. I mean, I know I sort of dumped it on you and everything, but I've got this really important thing tonight, and you know…" What? Cannot believe it; Jack is talking of mission report! Not kiss! Unsure of whether or not am pleased at fact. For sake of future relations with colonel, will stick with pleased at moment.  
"Umm, no sir, that's fine. Was that all?" Don't let it be all…  
"Uh, yeah. So, I'll see you back at base?" Damn!  
"Yeah, sure. See you later, sir." CO has left the building. Am tired and confused and have mission report to write. Don't even know where P3X-364 is! Am in big trouble.

3:58pm - Decided to stay home and write mission report and not run risk of bumping into Jack at base. Realised moments later that do not have necessary materials to write report at home. Decided did not care, and would stay home and watch TV instead. Have rationalised to self that do not work whilst at base, so not working at home is just as productive.

4:26pm - Have achieved work whilst at home! Have created new theory – theory of anti-work. Have decided that in tradition of work-avoidance entire human race has really be creating anti-work for people such as self that work too hard and do not sleep. Have therefore decided to create as much anti-work as possible to pay back the SOBs that have kept self from having life for last 30 years.

5:02pm - Hmm, is that doorbell?

5:04pm - Was deliveryman, bringing flowers. Flowers for me. Am confused. Card says 'I'm sorry. O'Malley's, 1800 hours?' Nothing on back, no name. Who is sending flowers to me?  
5:05pm - Could be Jack!  
5:06pm - No, is not Jack. Cannot be Jack.  
5:07pm - Am going just in case. Not because hope is Jack. Am going out of scientific curiosity, and the opportunity to create more anti-work.  
5:08pm - What to wear?

11:48pm Ooh me love Jack. Jack shorry. Wonderful night. Drank lotsha wine. Jack like wine. Me like wine. Hehe. Lotsha wine. Have big hangover tomorrow. Don't care. Very happy. Hehe. Could shing am shoooo happy. Tralala. Oopsy, tumble over. Musht find bed.

**_April 4th_**

_Hours worked: 0 (not sure if good or bad)  
__Hours of anti-work created: 3 (so far)  
__Hours slept: No idea  
__Size of hangover: North Dakota_

12:05pm - Eugh. Have headache size of North Dakota. Feel sick. Am going to get off sofa and go to bed.

1:24pm - Argh. Have just realised that should have been in work lots of hours ago. Past caring. Am trying desperately to remember events of last night and keep drawing blank. Not good. Am going back to bed again.

3:45pm - Have just been awoken by doorbell. Do not know how anyone could be inconsiderate enough to call at such ungodly hour. Pull self off bed and towards door. Uh oh, is Jack. Still cannot remember what happened last night. Think 'oh dear' would be understatement right now.

"Sir!"  
"Carter? You ok?" CO cares. Lovely. Would be nice, but am in too bad a state to care much.  
"Hmm, yeah, sorta."  
"You look like you just woke up." Me? Never…  
"Mmmph." Damn, that should have been 'no, not me, I'm perfectly coherent and bubbly this morning'.  
"Right. Shall I come in, or do you want to keep me standing on the doorstep all day?" Oops. "And Carter?"  
"Yes, sir?"  
"You wanna get dressed?" Bigger oops. Had forgotten in hungover state that was only wearing skimpy pyjamas. Not good impression to give CO, love of life and potential future husband.  
"Right, yeah. Make yourself at home." Stagger to bedroom, pull on clothes. Back to kitchen – need coffee desperately.  
"Hey Carter, you ok?" Oh, had forgotten presence of CO.  
"Um, yeah, you keep asking. You want a coffee?"  
"Please. And I keep asking because I don't think you're answering me honestly. You got a headache this morning by any chance?" Oooh nasty mean Jack! Know that he knows I have hangover size of North Dakota. Am going to ignore comment tactfully. "It's ok to be ill every once in a while you know. God knows you don't take time off often enough."

What? Is that invitation from CO to bunk off work more often? Reckon that this means CO has not spoken to General Hammond about lack of work done recently.

"Mmm?" That's right Sam, go non-committal on him.  
"You know what I mean." I do? Am confused. Take coffee and go join Jack on sofa.  
"I'm afraid I don't. You might be cheery this morning but I'm a little under the weather so you'll have to be gentle with me." Realise as words leave mouth that was probably not most tactful way to say that.  
"I know Carter. You did have quite a bit to drink last night." Uh oh. Still cannot remember last night. Perhaps did something stupid whilst drunk? Wish that could remember.  
"Uh huh."  
"Don't worry, you didn't compromise your dignity." I didn't what? Am still too hungover to understand CO's complicated language. Hope that is good thing that didn't do.  
"Oh, good."

"You haven't got a clue what I'm talking about, have you?" Ah, damn. Really should sign up for those acting classes the moment Jack leaves.  
"Um, no. Sorry, sir." Jack laughing. Dammit. Nasty, mean love of life. "Don't."  
"Don't what?"  
"Laugh. My headache is bad enough as it is."  
"Sorry Carter. I just happen to see the irony in the situation." Irons? What's he talking about ironing now for? "After all, it's usually me that has a problem understanding what you're going on about." Oh. So not ironing then. Shame. Need to do own ironing.  
"No offence, sir, but you're not generally hungover." There. Have said it. Suddenly wish that hadn't said it. Never mind, too late now.  
"You have a point." I do? Oh good. "Still, I didn't come round here to engage you in conversation no matter how stimulating this is turning out to be." Hmm. Think that was dig at me.  
"Really?"

"No. I wanted to talk about last night." Uh oh. Still cannot remember events of last night. Feel that this does not help situation.  
"Oh." Think that was very appropriate response in circumstances.  
"You don't remember anything about last night, do you?" Damn CO! Wonder if picked up mind-reading capabilities on P3X-whatever or if has always been omniscient.  
"Umm, no." Damn him for smiling again. Cannot concentrate on memory retrieval when faced with the smile.  
"How about I jog your memory for you." Haven't got much choice really. "We went to O'Malley's, and I bought you a drink at the bar." Eugh. Head throbs at mere memory of alcoholic beverages. "Then we sat down and ate and then afterwards you had some more to drink, and I apologised. With me so far?"

"Mmm." Dare to think what might have come next.  
"Then we went to another bar, and we danced…" Uh oh. Have just remembered conversation that had with CO.  
"And then I told you that I…" Cannot say it, cannot say it, cannot say it-

"Loved me." Ah. Thank you Jack.

"Um, yeah." Shit. "Well, that's one reason for me never to drink again." Oh, am in so much trouble.  
"Don't panic Carter. I'm not gonna have you up on charges." Oh. Thank you God.  
"Um, thanks."  
"That's ok. Do you remember what happened next?" Heck. Next thing that remember is falling off sofa at home. Which is obviously not what happened next.

"Um, no. Sorry."  
"Well, I sorta told you that I…" Oh!

"Loved me too." Oh God! Had forgotten Jack's confession of love to self! Could go and drown sorrows again right now. Or on second thoughts perhaps not. Haven't got over first hangover yet.

"Carter, I understand if you want to forget it, I mean you were a little tipsy and I wasn't completely sober either and you know-" Am gobsmacked. Am not going to let CO get away on excuse of being drunk. "-that I mmmpph!" Ah. Kissing Jack on own terms is much better activity.

4:15pm - Mmm. Like kissing Jack. Have decided that is new favourite hobby. Naquada reactors can go blow up in a star for all I care.


	3. June to December

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of this wonderful stuff. Unfortunately. I wish I did, but the lucky devils at ShowTime, Gecko and MGM have the pleasure, so I guess I'll just have to be content with doing what I do now, writing for fun. I don't get any money for it either. Sigh. And I don't own Bridget or any of her antics either. You'd think I'd be better off really, wouldn't you?_

_Author Comment: Well I promised more so here it is. I do hope that I haven't lost the plot yet (plot? What plot?) and that it does sorta make some sense to somebody. Do send feedback and let me know how I'm getting on!_

* * *

_**June 5th**_

_Times kissed Jack in last hour – 26  
__Times caught by superior officers – none so far  
__Number of storage closets visited – too many to count_

Realised this morning that have been neglecting diary. V. bad, but have been quite pre-occupied with C.O. related matters. Have discovered in past month that all things that used to consider fun are now epitome of boredom compared to spending time with Jack. Have also discovered that SGC has overwhelming number of broom closets/storage rooms. Wonder if General Hammond would be suspicious if asked for storage to be removed from storage rooms? Hmm.

_**June 6th** _

_Number of new storage rooms discovered – 3  
__Number of wedding dresses looked at – 50ish  
__Progress on getting storage removed from storage closets – none_

Am making effort to write in diary, so much so that have taken diary off world. Am currently sitting on watch on alien planet. V. boring.

Anyway, have still not found nice wedding dress. True, Jack has not yet suggested marriage but am v. sure he will soon. Still, decided against bringing 'Bridal Monthly' along to P3X-yada, yada, yada (think C.O. is rubbing off on self in more ways than one) in case of discovery by other SG-1 members or General Hammond in post-mission furore.

Continue to be amazed at number of storage closets on base. Have started to dream about them even. Hmm. Maybe should talk to Janet about storage closet obsession. Am not sure that is healthy to have such fascination about such things.

Should really get back to watching Jack. Ahem, watching SG-1.

_**June 9th**_

_Dreams about storage closets – 0 (yay!)  
__Fruitless theories about Daniel – 86 (or there abouts)  
__Wedding dresses currently on shortlist – 32 (hmm)_

Think that have finally overcome obsession with storage closets after Janet suggested that maybe should not frequent them so much. Was convinced that frequency of dreams and closet visits are wholly unrelated but finally relented due to increasingly disturbing nature of said closet dreams. Wonder if same effect will come of broom closets?

Have decided (after rejecting many fruitless theories – see above) that there is something going on between Daniel and A.N. Other. Hope for sake of two best friends that Janet is other woman. Would not like to be Daniel or Janet if this is not the case.

Have created shortlist of wedding dresses that have deemed acceptable. Unfortunately, shortlist is not quite short enough. Wonder if there is any way to show dresses to Jack and get opinion without alerting him to desire of marriage? Is worth investigating.

_**June 10th**_

_Number of women found to be suitable 'Daniel' candidate – 0  
__Number of storage closet visits today – 3 (v. good)  
__Total internet/phone bill for last month – far too much._

12:35pm - Have discovered evidence that 'other woman' in Daniel's life may in fact not be woman at all, but new hobby or other some such. Daniel is very shifty about it all though. Have just corned him in commissary. V. strange conversation.

"Hey Daniel!"  
"Oh, hey Sam. Sorry I can't talk – I'm just going."  
"Going? Where?"  
"To meet- I mean, to see, um, my optometrist."  
"Your optometrist?"  
"Yeah. I need new glasses. Lots of new pairs of glasses."  
"OK. Well, have fun."  
"Oh, sure. I will. Thanks."

V. strange indeed. Have resolved to find out what is going on at all costs, for Janet if not to settle own curiosity. Will enlist help of C.O. and lover to help find out what is going on.

12:40pm - Damn, Jack not in office. Where to find him?

12:55pm - Cannot find C.O. anywhere. Am giving up and returning to lab.

12:58pm - On returning to lab have found Jack inside hiding under table.

"Jack? Sir? You under the table?"  
"Carter! What are you doing here?"  
"Well it is my lab."  
"Get down here and stop talking so loudly!"

Well, has finally happened. C.O. has finally gone mad.

"If you insist."

Well, who needs an excuse to join future husband in dark and cramped spaces?

"So why am I here?"  
"You said. It's your lab."

Good point.

"I meant under the table."  
"We're hiding."  
"We are?"  
"Yup.  
"From who?"  
"Dannyboy."

There goes detailing Jack to find out Daniel's secret.

"Why are you hiding from Daniel?"  
"Because he keeps asking me to go shopping with him! And I don't want to!"

This confirms - C.O. is indeed crazy.

"Shopping? What for?"  
"Well you know it's Janet's birthday next week?"  
"Sure, who doesn't?"  
"Well Dannyboy has been looking for the perfect present and he keeps asking me to go with him! Like I know anything about it."  
"Does this have anything to do with optometrists?"  
"What?"  
"You know, glasses and stuff."  
"Not that I know of."

Aha! Knew something was up.

"Hmm."  
"Hmm what?"  
"Just thinking. Anyway I think he's gone off base. I saw him 20 minutes ago and he said he was headed somewhere."  
"Where?"  
"The optometrist."  
"The plot thickens."  
"Quite."

Now ensues large silence in conversation. Have sudden desire to relocate conversation to broom cupboard.

"You busy now?"  
"Not really."  
"Oh good."

Daniel can wait. Am currently engaged in matter of far greater urgency.

4:46pm - Really should do some work.

5:25pm - Really, really should do some work now.

7:55pm - Have finally settled to do some work.

8:00pm - Time to go home. Wonder why managed to do so little work today?

_**June 11th**_

_Goa'ulds killed: 1  
__Smoothies successfully created: 0  
__Secrets of Daniel's uncovered: 1_

Finally remembered this morning that was meant to be uncovering Daniel's secret, so cornered him in office. Apparently he wanted to get Janet something v. special but wasn't telling anyone because he was scared aforementioned birthday girl would find out. Am vaguely disappointed that didn't deem self worthy of this knowledge, but will get over it.

Beat Apophis again today - that guy just doesn't know how to die! Met Jack after for a post-fight 'conversation' in broom cupboard just down from own lab. Wonder if SGC cleaners have noticed lack of brooms in said closet yet?

Have also discovered joy of making smoothies in blender at home. Only wish that could get own smoothies to taste like divine fruity creations found at Starbucks. Sigh. Shall try again this evening.

_**June 16th**_

_Birthday parties attended: 1  
__Secret romances discovered: 1  
__Successful smoothies created: 0_

10:45am - Eugh. Headache. Need Advil and bed, not necerssarily in that order.

11:34am - Much better. Just tried to make smoothie to calm aching head. Think that smoothie might have been more effective if consumed rather than sprayed all around kitchen following ommission of lid to blender. Am sure that such a mistake could have been made by anyone, and does not make self unintelligent in any way. Am also starting to think that maybe was not put onto this earth to make smoothies, but to provide different but equally harmonious service to mankind.

Went to Janet's well planned birthday party last night, hence the headache this morning. Also discovered what Daniel has been being so secretive about. Turns out that he had been searching every jewellers in the state for the perfect eternity ring for Janet. Am currently under impression that is more than meets the eye to Daniel and Janet. Jack agrees.

Must return to smoothie-making. Perhaps will have greater success when less full of headache?

_**June 19th**_

_Successful smoothies created: given up  
__Romances confirmed: 1  
__Evil plots to take over world discovered: 0_

Is confirmed! Saw Daniel and Janet heading for favourite broom closet today. Am sure this makes romance an affirmative. Wonder what shall wear to imminent wedding?


	4. December to New Years!

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of this wonderful stuff. Unfortunately. I wish I did, but the lucky devils at ShowTime, Gecko and MGM have the pleasure, so I guess I'll just have to be content with doing what I do now, writing for fun. I don't get any money for it either. Sigh. And I don't own Bridget or any of her antics either. You'd think I'd be better off really, wouldn't you?_

_Author Comment: Yes, I know, it's been a long time coming. A very, very, very long time. But I've got around to it now! And I hope that it was worth waiting for. Do let me know!_

* * *

_**December 18th**_

_Christmas cards written: 0  
__Christmas presents purchased: 0  
__Wedding/bridesmaid dresses chosen: 0_

Discovered diary under large pile of 'Bridal Monthly' as was clearing out stock of said magazines. Have officially given up hope of attending any weddings in near future – own or otherwise.

Is scary how close to Christmas find self and have not written any cards or purchased any presents. Is terribly scary how unorganised self is. Must get more organised.

Am going Christmas shopping with Janet tomorrow. Will hopefully find present of suitable amazingness to give to Jack, AKA wonderful man in own life. Believe that Janet has similar present to find for Daniel, AKA wonderful man in Janet's life. Hope fervently that some such gift will appear after only short amount of shopping time. Am leaving very early to miss Christmas chopping rush.

_**December 19th**_

_Christmas cards written: 0  
Christmas presents bought: 0  
__Shops currently walked around fruitlessly: 26_

10.31am. Woke up. Realised that shops opened 2 ½ hours ago. Got dressed quickly and headed for Janet's.

10.46am. Arrived at Janet's to find her still in bed. Got friend out of bed and poured coffee down neck. Should get to mall soon. Must have own coffee first though.

12.12pm. Finally reach mall. Am terrible thirsty. Must get coffee.

12.23pm. Mmm. Coffee.

12.59pm. Enter first shop. Am not sure that will find present for Jack or Daniel in ladies clothes store. Must look around anyway, just in case.

1.34pm. 10 shops later. Still no luck.

1.52pm. Are there any present shops here?

2.02pm. Need lunch.

2.46pm. Must return to shops.

2.48pm. Am thirsty.

2.50pm. Mmm. Coffee.

5.54pm. Returned home. Wonder why managed to achieve so little shopping today? Must get ready, have date with Jack at 7pm.

6.25pm. Damn, damn. Where is hairdryer?

6.27pm. Cannot find eyeliner!

6.33pm. What to wear?

6.55pm. Can't find shoes…

7.01pm. Well hello soldier!

_**December 20th** _

_Christmas cards purchased: 100  
__Christmas cards written: 0  
__Christmas presents purchased: 1_

Woke up late. Is Jack's fault. Told him so, then made breakfast. Jack told self about joy of shopping for presents on Internet where is dry constantly and you can have a cup of coffee beside you at all times. Am overjoyed that Amazon offers pre-Christmas delivery and have found present for Daniel but must now find presents of equal wonderfulness for rest of friends. Shall tell Janet of Internet findings.

Need to write some Christmas cards. Am painfully aware that need Christmas card list first. Must write said list, but so far only consists of following:

Jack  
Daniel  
Teal'c  
Janet  
Cassie  
General Hammond  
Dad  
Mark and family

Definitely need larger list.

12.02pm. Jack finally left. Said he got fed up of watching aforementioned Christmas card list not getting any longer. Found self agreeing with love of life, only have realised that cannot leave as is own home and own list. Must think – who to add?

12.33pm. Should Apophis get card?

12.41pm. Martouf?

1.04pm. Nareem?

1.05pm. Wonder why half of Christmas card list is deceased. Think maybe am sort of Black Widow after all. Must remember to warn Jack.

1.08pm. On second thoughts, maybe not. Cannot be healthy to scare off men in such a fashion.

5.46pm. Have given up on idea of Christmas cards. Will tell friends that am trying to single-handedly save world's rainforests and so am not sending cards this year. Am sure that Brazilian monkeys are grateful. Hope that Goa'uld do not take offence at lack of card and declare war on Earth.

6.16pm. Realised that Goa'uld do not have Christmas, so likelihood of them taking offence at lack of card is minimal. Good thing too. Shall look for Christmas film on TV.

7.30pm. Nothing on. Wonder why pay cable channel such extortionate rates for such rubbish when am never at home to watch it anyway.

8.59pm. Gave up. Early bed tonight.

_**December 22nd**_

_Number of decent cable programmes on TV: 0  
__Cards received: 37  
__Cards sent: 0  
__Presents bought: 3_

Am still to find decent cable TV programme. Perhaps will protest outside TV station headquarters in New Year. Wonder which one to pick, as have about 500 of them.

Have received 32 cards to date and still sent none. Am beginning to feel terribly guilty about previous anti-card act. Wonder if should repent and send cards to entire SGC? Am unsure of where to find 372 cards in Colorado Springs and where to find 4 hours required to write said cards. Don't think that General Hammond would agree that they are necessary paperwork, but cannot afford to miss anyone out. What to do?

_**December 23rd** _

_Cards received: 145  
Cards sent: 0  
__Presents bought: 4  
__Decent cable programmes found: 0_

Wore 'Save the Rainforests' shirt to SGC today in hopes of deterring prospective card-givers. Was working perfectly until was intercepted by General Hammond who ordered immediate return of self to proper uniform.

Am more than slightly disgruntled, as have now received cards from more than half of entire base personnel, including two of the cleaners. Am v. sure that have never met 'Doris' or 'Mickey' and wonder why they felt compulsion to send card to me.

Still no luck on interesting TV programmes. Believe that TV stations have finally hit all time low with an entire day of Teletubbies repeats.

_**December 24th** _

_Number of decent cable programmes on TV: 0  
__Cards received: 306  
__Presents need to buy: 1_

Have now received 306 cards from base personnel. Am sure that given racial diversity of all enlisted personnel on base that the remaining 66 probably don't even celebrate Christmas or have similar anti-card programmes to self. Feel slightly guilty that have probably upset all 306 people by not sending meaningless greetings to them. Also wonder if have ever met 'Jill' or 'Ernest'. Am quite sure that have not.

Was shocked to realise that am still missing present of immense wonderfulness for love of life. Only have a few hours left before stores close. What to buy? Must go shopping immediately!

3.45pm. Is pair of socks a suitable present?

3.58pm. Book?

4.12pm. Tasteless tie?

4.36pm. Have gone to jewellers in search of wonderful present. Know that is worked for Janet and Daniel, so think it is worth a try.

5.02pm. Last jewellers. Had better find something in here or might consider hanging self.

5.16pm. Finally found present for Jack. Cannot wait to give it to him! Am sure that he will love it.

6.26pm. Have just realised that have no wrapping paper at home. Am very glad that shops open late on Christmas Eve. Will just pop out and get some.

6.49pm. Arrgh! All shops sold out of wrapping paper. Is terrible. What sort of shop doesn't stock wrapping paper on Christmas Eve! All shops in Colorado Spring, apparently.

7.12pm. Still no luck. Am giving up – know that have brown paper at home. Is only small present so should have enough.

7.32pm. Have no brown paper left. As last resort am hunting for brown paper bags.

7.38pm. Success! Finally found paper.

7.44pm. Have wrapped CO's present. Am glad that fuss is over.

7.53pm. Just realised that have not wrapped any other presents either. Do not have that many paper bags! What to do?

8.02pm. Have given up. Friends and associates will have to receive gifts in carrier bags. Hope they won't hold it against self.

8.05pm. A thought! Wonder if love-of-life has spare wrapping paper that is willing to share with self?

8.32pm. Hurrah! Jack has much spare paper and is coming round soon to bring it. Arrgh, must change.

8.38pm. Changed. Why isn't he here yet?  
8.39pm. Still not here.  
8.40pm. Still not here.  
8.40pm. Doorbell!

8.43pm. Mmm…

10.24pm. Fainlly got around to present wrapping. Distractions were v. welcome though. Wonder what love of life would think about staying late, um, early tonight,  
10.25pm. Mmm, thinks v. good idea…

11.34pm. Must get back to presents…

11.58pm. Finally finished presents. Must sleep now.

_**December 25th**_

_Presents given: 1  
__Presents received: 42  
__New copies of astronomy books: 14_

9.22am. Am shocked at how late have got up on Christmas Day of all days. Is all Jack's fault for keeping self up to early hours of morning. Still, am awake now.

9.42am. Have opened all presents from under tree. Yet again all those merely feeling obliged to buy self present have sent beginners books of astronomy. Wonder how they think managed to achieve PhD in Astrophysics without already having a pretty good knowledge of the stars. Still – books make v. good doorstops/coffeemates.

Ooh – Jack has appeared.

10.12am. Think now would be a good time for presents. Hope it's ok…

"What is it?"  
"Well I'm not going to tell you, am I?"  
"Fair point."  
"Well, open it!"  
"I'm savouring the moment."

Grrr.

"Open it!"  
"Yes, Ma'am!"

Darn love of life's cheeky grin.

"Wow, Sam…"

Am v. glad that Jack like's present so much. Mmm, v. v. much…

11.17am. Have just realised that have not received present from love of life.

"Jack, you haven't given me my present yet!"

Uh oh. Think have said wrong thing…

"Yeah, Sam, about that…"

What? He can't have forgotten, can he?

"It's just that… what with everything…"  
"Hey, it's ok. Really. It's not like I need presents or anything when I've got you."  
"No, I haven't forgotten, it's just taking longer than I thought to get it."

Yeah, sure. Heard that one before.

"Oh, well. Ok."

Hate awkward pauses.

"Shouldn't we be getting to Janet's?"

Oops. Almost forgot. Will go to Janet's and have lovely time and forget fact that love-of-life didn't buy self present.

_**December 26th**_

_Alcohol units consumed yesterday: too many  
__Size of hangover: half of known universe  
__Presents from CO: none_

12.58pm. Urk. Am sure bedroom is not meant to spin in such a fashion…

1.48pm. Really should get up. Advil is only in kitchen. Not difficult. Get up slowly…  
1.49pm. Collapsed in kitchen. Think might just grab Advil and crawl back to bed…

3.37pm. Finally in some semblance of conscious state. Time for some food – am starving.

3.52pm. Mmm, much better. Am now as close to compos mentis as think will manage today.

Christmas part at Janet's was v. fun, though can only remember bits of it. Like kissing presentless-love-of-life under mistletoe… in front of General Hammond… oops. Think that secret is probably out now.

Crap.

_**December 31st**_

_Presents received from CO: none.  
__Repercussions from mistletoe kiss: none  
__Decent cable TV programmes none._

Have not written in last few days as was nothing to write about. Luckily neither self nor Jack have heard from General Hammond, so can only hope that commanding officer's commanding officer was tipsy enough himself not to have noticed. Or remembered. Or both.

Have recovered from Janet's Christmas party in time for Daniel's New Years eve party. Should be fun. For a meek archaeologist Daniel really knows how to throw a party.

Should really get ready.

6.12pm. Ack. Jack will be here to pick self up at 7 and am nowhere near ready. Actually found half-decent film on TV and couldn't pass up opportunity to watch possibly only good programme of all year. So am now running late.

Must wash hair.

6.30pm. Now washed, now must find suitably wowing outfit for party…

6.45pm. Ready, finally.

7.08pm. Jack here, if a little late. Mmm…

7.29pm. Is lucky that party doesn't start until 8. Reckon that Jack anticipated such, ahem, delays, when he suggested pick-up time of 7. Not like it takes an hour to get to Daniels. Don't need to leave until about 7.45pm.

7.48pm. Crap. Am going to be late.  
7.49pm. Who cares? Daniel won't.

7.56pm. Really am leaving now.

8.12pm. Arrived at party. No-one noticed absence. Too busy having fun. Hmph.

10.36pm. Ish good party. Am glad that decided not to drink sho much tonight, Am having shuch fun. Larks. Much kissy Jack. Heheh. Musht ask Janet where she ish she keeping all that orangsh juish. And vodka. Heheh.

11.49pm. Midnight in 10 minutesh! Musht find Jack. Fun party, fun dancy. Heheh. Lotsha mushic. Lotsha danshing. Oops, tumbly over.

11.58pm. Wheresh Jack?  
11.59pm Jack! Foundsh love-of-life, foundsha my Jack, foundsh him…

"Ten!"  
"Sam…"  
"Nine!"  
"Yesh…"  
"Sam, I've got your Christmas present."  
"Eight!"  
"Shwat?"  
"Your present! I'm sorry it took so long, but the jeweller had to get it just right, I insisted."  
"Seven!"  
"My preshent?"  
"Yes… Sam?"  
"Six!"  
"Yesh?"  
"Five!"  
"I've been meaning to ask you…!"  
"Four!"  
"Sam, you mean more to me than anything in the whole universe…"  
"Three!"  
"…and so I want to know…"  
"Two!"  
"…will you…"  
"One!"  
"…will you marry me?"

"Happy New Year!"

Feel suddenly v. sober indeed.

"Yes, Jack, yes!"

Am certainly most happy woman in world. What a wonderful way to end wonderful year!


	5. Epilogue

**January 1st**

1.02am - Last year went v. well. Resolve to keep another diary like first next year, to keep track of all v. wonderful things that happen. Hurrah!

_Author Note: Thanks for reading Sam Carter's Diary! Follow her All New Adventures in the sequel:_

**Sam Carter: The Event Horizon of Reason**


End file.
